The way that we think of ourselves is as others judge us to be. Emotions are used to judge others. We express them with facial expressions, gestures and words, creating a mirror in which we look at ourselves – as described in 1902 by Charles Horton Cooley. This is one of the things that makes us social beings.
People who make us feel good around them create a mirror for us to help us become better, healthier, stronger people. We trust these people and we want to see them as leaders. It pays off because a leader who believes in us will help us get what we want. But he has to be that leader.
It pays to be polite, regardless of whether we are leaders or regular team members. In both cases, it builds us up and strengthens others.