Empathy among hospital nurses: how can you support a colleague?

Empathy between colleagues

In a hospital, empathy between nurses often begins with a small request for help with a patient. Rather than commenting in front of others that a colleague looks upset, it is better to ask her privately how much she has on her plate and which upcoming task she needs help with. This acknowledges her workload without guessing how she feels. A kind tone matters, but it will not fix understaffing or get an urgent task done. The response should therefore address the work too: find out whether she needs another pair of hands or a moment to finish what she has started. Help then becomes specific rather than a general offer to be there.

Perspective and boundaries

Understanding a colleague’s perspective does not mean taking on her responsibilities. One person may want to talk about a difficult shift; another may prefer not to discuss personal feelings and simply need someone to cover a task. Leave the choice to her by asking whether it would help to talk, have brief relief from a task, or check a procedure together. Both nurses can then agree on what they can realistically do before the shift ends and who is responsible for each task. This avoids offering help that does not fit the situation: you can be attentive to someone else while saying that you cannot safely put your own duties aside. A boundary does not rule out support; it defines what support you can offer.

Making it safe to say “I don’t know”

When a new nurse admits she does not know how to operate a device, a matter-of-fact response makes it easier for her to ask before trying to use it on her own. If her colleague does not know either, they can consult the relevant instructions or procedure together instead of publicly judging anyone’s competence. In a field study of 51 teams at a manufacturing company, psychological safety was associated with team learning; the study did not involve nurses. A meta-analysis covering 136 samples and more than 22,000 people also described an association between psychological safety and learning in teams. These findings support paying attention to how teams respond when someone does not know something, but they do not prove that a single empathy workshop or particular phrase is effective.

After a task goes wrong

After a task goes wrong, the first priority is to secure the patient’s ongoing care and establish the facts needed to act safely. At the same time or afterward, it is worth asking the colleague what she needs to return to work, without pressing her for a detailed account of her feelings. An error that requires a response and the experience of someone involved in the incident are connected but separate matters. If appropriate, you can suggest the formal post-incident support available. A systematic review of 99 studies examined staff needs and such support, but only 11 studies assessed the effectiveness of interventions. Results for peer-support programs were mixed, with few controlled comparisons or randomized studies, so no one form of help should be promised to work.

Helping without taking over

When a colleague is overwhelmed, it is best to start with a specific offer: “I’ll take the calls for ten minutes while you check the documentation. Then we can see if you need anything else.” If neither nurse can take on another duty, they can identify the most urgent tasks together. Agree on what someone will do now, who will be responsible for it afterward, and when to check in again. Repeatedly doing the same person’s work without discussing why she is overloaded does not solve the team’s problem. Time-limited help gives a colleague breathing room without taking away her independence or hiding the fact that there is more work than can reasonably be shared.

Setting a boundary around difficult behavior

Pressure during a shift may help explain a colleague’s behavior, but it does not excuse mocking another nurse or disregarding a patient. When that happens, name the specific behavior and its effect on teamwork rather than judging the person as a whole. You might say that a remark made in front of others made it harder to ask for help, then explain how to communicate during the next task. Compassion for someone under strain does not require silence about a breach of standards. If it happens again, involve a supervisor in line with team procedures. This boundary separates an effort to understand someone’s difficulties from accepting behavior that harms others.

How to gauge teamwork

Teamwork is not measured solely by whether someone offered help during one shift. It is worth asking whether staff can request help after a difficult shift, whether they get responses across different shifts, and whether support reaches beyond close friends. Another important sign is whether new staff ask questions before a situation becomes urgent. The meta-analysis of psychological safety covered 136 samples, more than 22,000 people, and nearly 5,000 groups. It gives reason to take the issue seriously, but many of the included studies were correlational, and their findings concerned different levels of analysis. It is not evidence that one empathetic phrase will improve teamwork on a ward.

Supporting a colleague during a hospital shift starts with asking what she needs right now. Boundaries, a constructive response to uncertainty, and support after a difficult incident matter too.

Empatyzer in supportive conversations between nurses

Before talking with a colleague, a nurse can use Em to prepare a question about the most urgent need and a brief offer of help she can realistically provide. Rather than assuming the other person wants someone to cover for her, she can ask whether she would prefer to check a task together, have brief relief from work, or be listened to. The “You and a specific person” comparison helps reveal differences in how people ask for and offer support, making it easier to choose appropriate language. The “About me” view can help a nurse notice her own tendency to take over and prepare a clear boundary around her tasks. Micro-lessons can reinforce the principle of matching support to the person’s needs and the task at hand. Em can also help frame an offer that leaves the choice with the colleague: what can be done now, for how long, and when to check together whether more support is needed. The tool helps prepare for a conversation; it does not replace agreements made during a shift.